The only thing we know is what matters now, at this moment, in this place. Our feelings, our emotions, little things that happen to us every day, day by day, with our beloved one or without him. Pretty much when you get to know the person you don’t talk about physics or science all the time – you discuss little things that happen to you, support each other and try to make the other person happier.
Everything happens for a reason though and we get lessons we need to learn. Otherwise we would have never got them. That’s the reason why every life is so different. The answer for the question why one person has a lot and the other – nothing, why one loves and the other doesn’t, why one gets everything easily and the other struggles for little things. These are all lessons we need to learn – how to get or not to lose, how to love or grow yourself, how to make a career or become a wonderful mum. Or, in my case, how to get it all, as quick as possible and stay calm and not to lose my center on this bumpy road of my life.
What are your lessons?
I also met Lida, my ex-language tutor, yesterday – finally! Every time we meet, even though it happens once a year, I am so happy to see her. She is the complete opposite of me, character traits wise. I am so impatient and she is the most patient person I’ve ever met. And what’s funny is that the more I talk to people in different relationships, the more I understand that there is no ideal person. I recently heard that radio show – they were talking about idealization and I found it interesting how one of the guests was telling that our world is bi-polar which means that there is no 100% positive or 100% negative in the world. This also means that no person can be a 100% ideal to you or anyone – there is always smth you’d hate about him and this is always another lesson to you. Your reaction and how wise you act about it can show if you are laering it or not. There is a reason why you are in love with a person whose socks can be found under the bed and on the kitchen table and in the cat’s litter box. There is a reason he breaks everything that he touches. There is a reason why he isn’t capable in making decisions of any kind. The reason is pretty much checking how you make it through. Staying calm and patient will help him realize that he is doing smth wrong and he will try to improve himself. Being aggressive and unhappy about it all the time will only make it all worse. Men don’t like repetition. Once told sets in their head forever. Even if they don’t make decisions on the spot only means that the idea isn’t settled in their head yet – and they are still thinking. Especially Russians. “Долго запрягает, зато быстро едет” – is so true. So your thing is just to put a little seed of ideas you want in his head and then he will do everything in his own, just give him time. And be wise and patient too – to get what you want.
p.s.
I am getting ready for the winter and enjoy the wonderful fall days!
