Naughty or nice?

Appreciation  is a state of mind. No, not even that, it’s a state of heart.Through accepting and sharing, through love and forgiveness, once of a sudden your whole body is overwhelmed by thoughts and words of gratefulness. It doesn’t only happen in those moments when you are happy, and not necessarily when you suffer. These waves may come and go, unexpected, but always followed by shivers, covering your whole body.I know people who have never experienced this in their lifetime. It might be that they haven’t yet got to this certain level of life understanding when you don’t blame anything and anyone, and accept it as it is! When you look back at any situation in life and take it as granted. When you realize, that thoughts “I could have done it differently” is just an illusion. The situation has already come, and you have made your choice. If you really think you had other options – know, you did not.

 

It was your lesson and any decision you made was the only right one. You chose to go left or right, you picked print or color, you had cappuccino or latte this morning – it all matters, as if you pulled a tiny string in the Universe and turned a wheel of your  life a little closer to the main course. I do believe in faith, I guess, and there are points in any fortune that you can’t skip  no matter what. There are scenarios though that you build yourself, day by day, conversation by conversation, decision by decision. Butterfly effect, as it is, pure, stable, working right here right now.

Being grateful and forgiving is the only way to stay normal. Lol, people say I am crazy, but I guess it’s has a different meaning of being GOOD crazy, living in my own world of pink ponies and brands and philosophy;)

Seriously, forgiving from your heart and saying “thanks” to the person who hurt you, at least for experience you gained, blocks and wipes stresses out. There is no way forgiveness and stresses can share one heart. You either let go or stress out on a regular basis. I opt for the first one. I want my heart and mind to be light and sunny, no matter what’s going on around. Putting a glass wall and not seeing negative sides of life – may be it’s not the smartest option but it’s my choice. That’s why mornings like today happen in my life. I wake up, get ready for work, text and call my favorite people on the Earth, and then start my car and it srikes me all of a sudden:” Hey Universe, I am so blessed and happy, thank you, babe, for that”. And shivers afterwards.

High time to say “thanks”, what you think?

delete_it

They say brave people make decisions within seven inhales and seven exhales. I say – it’s all about the moment. Sometimes we sit there and think it over and over and over and yet don’t have enough spirit to say: ’’dude, it’s enough”. There are days though when making a decision is not an option any more, you wake up/get a text/make a sip of coffee and it strikes you so naturally, with no more doubt. You don’t even track your thoughts or emotions, you become brave and calm all of a sudden and stop fooling yourself. Then deleting someone’s number does not mean that you remember it by heart. Deleting text messages doesn’t mean that you neatly copy them first to a folder called “personal stuff” on your laptop. De-friending on facebook does not mean putting his page on your first tab when opening your browser. Once, you are just over it. You actually delete everything and move on, disregarding all games that you’ve played with your soul for the last couple months.

 For some people crossing a person out of life is an easy task, for me it’s not. Every person who appears in my life feels like a project. It HAS TO be successful. I refuse to understand it when two people can not work it out. Especially when they want to but fail for some reason. Everything is negotiatable. If you have a desire to work it out, you will, otherwise there are only excuses to be found. It’s all about accepting people the way they are. If you fully accept the personality and don’t blame him for his natural traights (which might as well be awkward), you care for him/her not trying to change the way he talks/laughs/breaths. I guess acceptance is the wisdom of life.

                    

Every time you fail in a relationship of any kind it empties your heart. Usually any failure gives you an awful feeling of being lost, and stupid, and empty. But have you ever thought of emptiness as a good category? It doesn’t mean that you have nothing left, it means you are left together with your own self, to learn your lesson and get over – alone. Sometimes when your purse gets really messy, there is no other choice but to take everything out, clean it up, find a bunch of trash, freak out, and then put back what’s needed. Same here. Sometimes when your heart gets messy, there is no other choice but to take everything out, clean it up, find a bunch of trash, freak out, and then put back what’s needed. Empty yourself and let the Universe fill you. It surely knows better what to put inside. All good things in life are young, wild and free. Now is the only time, and it’s definitely the right time to try.

Minsk. May. we_are_family

Some things never change. Some people go through your life without leaving even a tiny memory, but others get stuck like glue –which is, indeed, amazing. This girl knows me better than I do myself. It’s already year 6 of wine and cheese, of non-stop chatting/texting. We’ve watched a ton of movies together and been to millions of places. We know exactly what each of us was doing yesterday, a month ago, and a year. We know every guy who touched our hearts and every idea that appeared in our heads. We went on road trips and train rides together. We cried and we laughed. We think alike and grow together. We have similar tastes and both suffer from Pandora obsession. Every time I stop by in church I pray for all of my friends to find their center and become happy in life, but this girl – in particular. She inspires and gain inspiration from me. We lose and we win. Now, looking at the pictures, I realize that we are getting first wrinkles. We are not 18 year old posh students anymore, but in our big-kid new lives nothing changes – we are in touch, always. We share our lives, and even if we don’t spend much time together we ARE together, our souls are connected somehow, we are family.

This time we went on a trip to Minsk. I flew out there and Irina was in this calm and sunny city already. My perfect photographer, as usual, she captured moments, that will stay in our hearts forever. We wandered around Minsk, took pictures, talked non-stop, ate in different places, watched movies and made conclusions. Sometimes she is hard, sometimes I am. Accepting each other just the way we are is the key of our friendship and I know we are both blessed with each other. Car ride back to Moscow was amazing as every car ride with her. We sang songs like crazy women, and philosophized, and laughed, and drank coffee at the gas stations. Gosh, there are so many things we shared together already and so many more to go.

Bright summer pictures, Minsk, May 2013.