delete_it

They say brave people make decisions within seven inhales and seven exhales. I say – it’s all about the moment. Sometimes we sit there and think it over and over and over and yet don’t have enough spirit to say: ’’dude, it’s enough”. There are days though when making a decision is not an option any more, you wake up/get a text/make a sip of coffee and it strikes you so naturally, with no more doubt. You don’t even track your thoughts or emotions, you become brave and calm all of a sudden and stop fooling yourself. Then deleting someone’s number does not mean that you remember it by heart. Deleting text messages doesn’t mean that you neatly copy them first to a folder called “personal stuff” on your laptop. De-friending on facebook does not mean putting his page on your first tab when opening your browser. Once, you are just over it. You actually delete everything and move on, disregarding all games that you’ve played with your soul for the last couple months.

 For some people crossing a person out of life is an easy task, for me it’s not. Every person who appears in my life feels like a project. It HAS TO be successful. I refuse to understand it when two people can not work it out. Especially when they want to but fail for some reason. Everything is negotiatable. If you have a desire to work it out, you will, otherwise there are only excuses to be found. It’s all about accepting people the way they are. If you fully accept the personality and don’t blame him for his natural traights (which might as well be awkward), you care for him/her not trying to change the way he talks/laughs/breaths. I guess acceptance is the wisdom of life.

                    

Every time you fail in a relationship of any kind it empties your heart. Usually any failure gives you an awful feeling of being lost, and stupid, and empty. But have you ever thought of emptiness as a good category? It doesn’t mean that you have nothing left, it means you are left together with your own self, to learn your lesson and get over – alone. Sometimes when your purse gets really messy, there is no other choice but to take everything out, clean it up, find a bunch of trash, freak out, and then put back what’s needed. Same here. Sometimes when your heart gets messy, there is no other choice but to take everything out, clean it up, find a bunch of trash, freak out, and then put back what’s needed. Empty yourself and let the Universe fill you. It surely knows better what to put inside. All good things in life are young, wild and free. Now is the only time, and it’s definitely the right time to try.

Minsk. May. we_are_family

Some things never change. Some people go through your life without leaving even a tiny memory, but others get stuck like glue –which is, indeed, amazing. This girl knows me better than I do myself. It’s already year 6 of wine and cheese, of non-stop chatting/texting. We’ve watched a ton of movies together and been to millions of places. We know exactly what each of us was doing yesterday, a month ago, and a year. We know every guy who touched our hearts and every idea that appeared in our heads. We went on road trips and train rides together. We cried and we laughed. We think alike and grow together. We have similar tastes and both suffer from Pandora obsession. Every time I stop by in church I pray for all of my friends to find their center and become happy in life, but this girl – in particular. She inspires and gain inspiration from me. We lose and we win. Now, looking at the pictures, I realize that we are getting first wrinkles. We are not 18 year old posh students anymore, but in our big-kid new lives nothing changes – we are in touch, always. We share our lives, and even if we don’t spend much time together we ARE together, our souls are connected somehow, we are family.

This time we went on a trip to Minsk. I flew out there and Irina was in this calm and sunny city already. My perfect photographer, as usual, she captured moments, that will stay in our hearts forever. We wandered around Minsk, took pictures, talked non-stop, ate in different places, watched movies and made conclusions. Sometimes she is hard, sometimes I am. Accepting each other just the way we are is the key of our friendship and I know we are both blessed with each other. Car ride back to Moscow was amazing as every car ride with her. We sang songs like crazy women, and philosophized, and laughed, and drank coffee at the gas stations. Gosh, there are so many things we shared together already and so many more to go.

Bright summer pictures, Minsk, May 2013.

on the sandy shores

 

It’s calm and sunny at this magical place where the Desert hits the Indian Ocean. Two elements of the Universe are meeting here so easily as if they signed a special peace protocol. Hotel chains look like mountain chains, painted in the most natural colors of the Earth – white, beige, light brown, coffee and occupy the whole coastline, pretending to be part of the initial landscape, as if they have been here as long as water and sand dunes.

The country itself presents a fantastic ode to mankind. Half a century ago there was nothing here, but camels, barkhans and wild nomads spread around separated aggressive emirates. How in the world is it possible that the country just builds itself from scratch – cities, amazing architecture projects, roads, hotels – in only 50 years? The country which doesn’t have a single source of still water. The country which has nothing but sand all around? Well, apparently it is possible, the result is, damn, fantastic. Dubai is a freshly-built amazing city, full of skyscrapers that keep getting taller and taller with every new project coming up. They try to construct buildings very close to each other to spend less money on air conditioning. Most of the skyscrapers are very glossy from the outside for the same reason.  Dubai is filled to the top with innovations, every building, every project is screaming right in your face that it is, indeed, the most impressive, the fanciest, the most expensive one – in the world. Emirates have oil, which makes gasoline really cheap – around 50 cents for liter. I think I could stand still and stare at cars forever – the biggest, the most powerful cars, all shiny white and dramatically toned, Land Cruisers and Sequoias, Range Rovers and Patrols. The engines never stop to keep it freezing cold inside every time you jump in from the boiling hot outside. Emirates maximize everything – the coffee is the most bitter I’ve ever tried, desserts are the sweetest, Indian Ocean is the saltiest, Sun is the hottest. If you want to know how it feels to live life to the extend – this is the right place to go. There are 9 international airports for 8  emirates and now this country is on the 3d place of wrold connections. The plan is, of course, to have 100% of all connection flights to happen thru here. They have no other option but to take ocean water and make it still – can you imagine what a technology? The country has no taxation – at all. It does have licenses but no taxes. The key source of money is oil, airports, roads – most of big business belongs to the government.

Every travel spot is a big life spot for me. I have recently realized that when my mind wanders it doesn’t come to an empty place any more. It comes to my next journey destination. I live by ideas and plans of where I am going next and this inspires me so much. The most interesting thoughts, the greatest ideas, all changes of mindset and search for my own self – it never happens in Moscow. Here I only run like a crazy woman and DO things while I actually THINK about them every time I am travelling. This time, I didn’t even talk for more than a week – I read, and explored, and analyzed. I had my phone turned off and a gozillion of thoughts written down in my new Moleskine that I took with me.  Oh, of course I did a little shopping– what a fool would not shop in Dubai? Lol. Malls, btw, have an obvious Arabic glow like a prayer break every now and then and those ladies covered in black from head to toes checking out piles of stuff at the register (while you can only see their eyes – weird). Rather than that stores are exactly like in Europe or America. May be a tiny bit cheaper because of the tax-free zone, but nothing too impressive. Well, anywhere in the world is cheaper than Moscow, no surprises here. Oh, I also wore all my bikinis, switching them couple times a day - magnificent Cali flashback.

Every time I sit at the airport waiting for my boarding time, I sum up. Not only the trip I am coming back from but my whole life up to… today! I thought time for self-realization, spent in Dubai, will get me back on track. Actually, I discovered a new track instead. Letting everything go through yourself and yourself through everything to become who you actually are. Using the power of love and forgiveness instead of blocking what you don’t want to hear/see/know seems like a major change in the mindset, right?

Tanned and inspired, I am waiting for the new Lessons of Life and my next travel destination.

Hello, tomorrow!